In Lalalaletmeexplain’s hit column, readers now get to feel like they’re watching TV’s Love Island with her. She uses her knowledge to analyse the episodes so we can learn from the cast’s triumphs and mistakes.
With over 200k Instagram followers, Lala is the anonymous voice helping womankind through every bump in the road. An established sex, dating and relationship educator, she’s had her fair share of relationship drama and shares her wisdom on social media to a loyal army of followers.
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“I can’t believe we only have a week to go! I’m so pleased that FINALLY Danica is getting the attention she deserves. I would’ve been so sad if her time in the villa hadn’t ended with someone being interested in her. The way she was treated by the boys up until this week was making her question her worth.
Billy’s behaviour toward her was uncomfortable to watch. During the ‘snog, marry, or pie’ game he very intentionally didn’t choose to snog or marry her, instead snogging Gemma even though he knew that she didn’t want to. He wanted Danica to get the message.
To make matters worse, when Danica had a conversation with him about it and told him that she wanted to remove herself from the coupling because he clearly wasn’t interested, he did that very typical no-labels f**kboy thing of saying, “It hasn’t clicked romantically yet but that doesn’t mean that it won’t ever click.” When they say this – run. I promise you it won’t ever click.
The whole thing made her worry about whether she was worthy of love. She sat with the girls saying, “Why am I back in the same position, why don’t I deserve that, not one person wants to get to know me romantically.” I know the feeling – Danica is a good reminder that we must never question our value based on whether someone wants to have a romance with us. She’s gorgeous and lovely, and so worthy of love. She was just trying to make it work with the wrong people.
We do this a lot on the outside. We try to make it work with everyone we date, but you have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince, and she has finally found someone who she genuinely clicks with in Jamie.
I’m glad Billy was booted out and that Danica had a chance to call him out for kissing and telling before he left. His reaction was so jarring. Danica said: “I don’t think you grasp how out of order that was.” She barely raised her voice, but he told her to stop shouting, chill out, and to stop swearing. There is nothing worse than trying to raise an issue with someone and instead of them addressing the issue they deflect and gaslight by making it seem as though you’re the one doing something wrong by raising it with the wrong tone.
Even more annoying was him telling her repeatedly: “Woah woah woah, you’ve changed your tune.” We’re allowed to change our tunes, we’re allowed to feel one thing one day and then reflect on it and feel something else the next day, and we’re allowed to raise it without being told to calm down. Being told to chill out is the fastest way to make a person feel un-chilled.
One of the things that makes witnessing these sorts of encounters on screen slightly easier, is recognising the great relationship between the girls. It’s honestly the thing I’ve loved the most in this series. They supported and encouraged Danica to feel empowered to raise the ‘debriefing without consent’ issue; and when she felt sad and she spoke about her feelings of rejection with the others, they reassured her and reminded her that she is deserving of love.
Similarly, when Paige was having a wobble because Adam was on a date, she was talking to Gemma asking: “What if my looks and personality aren’t enough?” (another feeling that so many of us will relate to). Gemma reassured her of how sexy and stunning she is. And even though she’s falling in love with Dami, Indiyah still managed to support Summer and offer her kindness and friendship when Dami had been so cruel to her, calling her fake and denying that he led her on.
Ekin-Su has also been a great example of girls supporting girls, she’s always bigging the other girls up, giving compliments and encouraging them before dates. This doesn’t extend to women who she thinks are competition though. Nathalia and Lacey both expressed shock at how unwelcoming she was. I wasn’t mad at her for that, it may not be the right way to be but I fully understand it nonetheless.
She needn’t have worried though, Davide made an exclusivity tiramisu for her on Sunday night. I’m never going to get into a relationship with anyone who doesn’t make me a tiramisu, he’s set the bar high for exclusivity conversations. We have quite a few serious couples in there now but I’m pretty sure that these two will be our winners – what are your predictions? Let us know in comments below!
Red and Pink Flags of the week
- Dami snogging Summer in the ‘snog, marry, pie’ challenge, knowing that it had the potential to hurt both Indiyah and Summer, was a wild choice. I think he enjoys the ego boost from feeling like people are fighting over him.
- Adam and all the boys have been referring to Paige as ‘wifey material’. The whole concept of wife material is a bit off, especially if it’s applied as a general term – how could one person be a marital match for everyone? What makes marriage material is completely individual and should be based on personal connection, not a rigid set of constructs that make a perfect woman.
- When Paige spoke to Gemma about Adam, she said: “It’s going too smoothly, it’s going too well, I’m waiting for something bad to happen.” This is a flag for her own insecurities and beliefs about relationships, probably based on all of her past experiences. She needs to enjoy it in the moment, and maybe look into working through these issues to help her to stop waiting for things to go wrong.
- Reece said in his entry video that his longest relationship had been 24 hours because he gets bored quickly. If someone says this to you on a date, take it as a pink flag and don’t expect to see them next week.