In this video, Mikhail Varshavski, DO — who goes by “Dr. Mike” on social media — and Rena Malik, MD, react to “Sex Sent Me to the ER,” a show where actors portray real life/true medical scenarios.
Following is a partial transcript of the video (note that errors are possible):
Varshavski: Sex sent them to the ER. For this, I needed a consultation from my good friend, Rena Malik. Welcome to the channel!
Malik: Thanks so much for having me.
Varshavski: Are you excited to watch the show?
Malik: I’m so excited.
Varshavski: And I have heard you watched a couple episodes.
Malik: I watched one, yeah.
Female Doctor: It looks like your penis has sustained major trauma. What is all of this?
Female: It was…
Varshavski: That’s like a chastity belt?
Narrator: Wearing a medieval torture device is probably not most people’s idea of a good time, but this man had been unfaithful before so this couple thought it was necessary.
Malik: I have not seen a patient who’s been forced to wear one because they’ve been unfaithful.
Varshavski: Yeah. That’s a punishment, I suppose. I mean, maybe they want the punishment. Like S&M, you got to be open to that adult play.
Narrator: After love making this couple went through their bizarre ritual when she takes the key and lock them up until they meet again.
Female: The bit that hurts. The part to make it work, my favorite part.
Female: I’m the only one with the key to your…
Varshavski: What would happen if you were to get an erection trapped inside of a plastic case? It would hurt?
Malik: It would hurt and you could possibly damage your penis, right? If the erection was bent in a different way, you could create micro tears in the penis, which over time could cause problems with erectile function.
Female: Oh my gosh. My necklace. The key, I’ve lost it.
Male: You’ve what?
Malik: Oh, my God.
Male: You’re going to break me free.
Female: Why you’re so soft?
Malik: Oh, no. We do see things get stuck on penises all the time. People will use different things of cock rings and then they’ll fall asleep, they’ll be intoxicated, or they will have an erection and then it gets swollen and then it gets stuck. You have to use all sorts of different things like Gigli saws to cut them off, but not a hammer.
Female Doctor: Fortunately, it looks like just abrasions and contusions.
Varshavski: There is no role here for an ultrasound to check for hematomas? Like I feel like…
Malik: Well, so you can get an MRI to make sure there’s no fracture. But ultimately, if there is just hematomas or essentially blood clots, or blood forming underneath the foreskin, there is really nothing you need to do but wait for some time.
Female: Will you just get these things out of me?
Varshavski: Okay. Things?
Male Doctor: Get what out of you?
Female and Male: The rocks, okay?! The rocks!
Female: Hey, let’s use these.
Varshavski: Pop Rocks?
Malik: Candy rocks.
Varshavski: Are those the Pop…? I was going to say that, but then I was like, “That’s ridiculous!”
Female: Oh, no, no, no.
Varshavski: Raging yeast infection.
Female: Here, here, they’re burning.
Female: Oh, it hurts.
Male Doctor: There is lots of swelling and irritation.
Malik: Use toys or devices, aids, that are used and they’re meant for sexual purposes. They have flavored lubes and flavored condoms. Make sure you try them on your skin before you try them down there…
Malik: …to make sure you’re not having an allergic reaction or something. But some of these things can put you at higher risk for yeast infections like you talked about.
Female: I better put it somewhere else.
Female: I wonder what it feels like, down there.
Male: I tell her, “This isn’t a good idea. We probably shouldn’t be doing this.”
Varshavski: Sugar is not meant to be in that area.
Malik: Yeah. Generally speaking, you want to keep sticky icky things away from the genitals.
Varshavski: Good point.
Narrator: After the popsicle melted, this couple went to heat things up in the bedroom.
Male: She was squirming around quite a bit more than normal, so I kind of figured something was wrong. There were some tenderness or something.
Malik: Oh, no.
Female: I was hoping it was just an infection.
Varshavski: An infection that quickly is unreasonable.
Female: I really didn’t want to tell the story, so I was really vague with the doctor. And we were using sort of a sex toy.
Malik: This is so common. I’ll just tell you that people never want to say exactly what they were doing. Very often they were like minding their own business or something else. They make up a story because they are super embarrassed.
Varshavski: What’s your wildest story you’ve ever heard? Not wild. It’s like the worst example where it’s obviously unbelievable.
Malik: Well, so there was a guy who was cheating on his wife and he came in for a penile fracture, which is where if you have vigorous intercourse and you break the penis essentially. That’s a surgical emergency. He came in and he told his wife he was masturbating in the car, and that’s how it happened.
Female: Popsicle, okay? It was a popsicle. That’s what we used as a sex toy. After a while, I just got numb to it.
Female Doctor: You definitely gave yourself cold panniculitis.
Varshavski: That’s a quick diagnosis, cold panniculitis.
Varshavski: Cold panniculitis in my head is kind of like frostbite. Is that reasonable?
Malik: Yeah, I think so. I think that’s reasonable. I mean, it’s basically exposure to cold that leads to an eruption of the skin, causing kind of a rash-like syndrome.
Female Doctor: It should clear up in a few days. We’ll get you some ointment to take care of the inflammation.
Mike Varshavski, DO, is a board-certified family physician and social media influencer with more than 9 million subscribers.